Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
