He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
