please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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