nut hugger
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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