just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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