Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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