Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
