your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
