I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
