This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
