he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
