I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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