What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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