Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
