Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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