I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
