I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The power of my boobs compel you
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize