Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
