Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.

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(407): View more from Florida

it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.

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(+54): View more from

My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle

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(585): View more from New York

He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me you're kidding.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.

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(716): View more from New York

Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.

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