Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
