Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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