4 words: hood of his car
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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