Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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