Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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