I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
