Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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