Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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