I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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