Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I believe in your delicious
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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