Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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