if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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