i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
