Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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