please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize