The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
