i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am mentally ready for anal.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
