Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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