did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
