My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
then he tried to convert me to islam
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
