oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize