garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize