Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
