great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
