Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
