...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
