He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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