Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We left the knife in your bed.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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