the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
