Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
