Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
