Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize