An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
