dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
