I just cut my nipple shaving
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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