he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
