would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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