I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
