spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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