I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
