he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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