Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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