Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
