New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
