I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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