he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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