I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize