I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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