I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
