I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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