Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
