I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
