I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
