there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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