didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
